Douche Invasion

It seems like everywhere I go these days, I am bombarded by people who think they are the coolest shit on earth. These people will will do what ever it takes and pay what ever it costs to be super cool. Well, congrats douche bags. You are so out of control that I had to dedicate this entire blog to your total lack of life skills. My first post is all about my recent trip to the mall. It was a total douche fest. Here are some pics of the most ridiculously ugly and overpriced douche bag footwear I could find. If you have recently paid way too much for any of these lame items, please contact me and submit a photo of you wearing them. I won't make fun, I promise.

These horrible gino kicks cost $350. Ha ha ha.

If you own these, you are not the man. If you wear these

with your boot cut jeans, just please stop!

Pink Ugg boots, really? These boots are just gross, but the worst part is

the ugly price. These things are freaking slippers, but yet they cost $250.

I've seen the exact same thing in Walmart for $12.99, but to shop at Walmart just

wouldn't be cool would it ladies? FYI, these go great with $100 aviator shades,
especially indoors. That was sarcasm, in case you took me seriously.

These are just $130 of pure foolishness.

Unless you can dunk, don't even think about it.

You can't pull it off.

These next shoes are actually pretty cool.

I really wouldn't mind a pair for business casual situations.

The problem is, they are worth like $40 max, but currently cost $100

because all the douche bags have decided to ruin this classic style.

I Tried to get some pics of people actually looking like douches, but it turns out they are actually quite sensitive about there condition. I did get a pic off all the Starbucks victims in a panic to get their fix after the mall had closed.

Check out the super douche Drake look-alike against the wall.

He's all set. He's got his ultra trendy scarf, his top of the line blackberry, and

he got his 3rd Starbucks of the day just in time.

Till next time, please don't be part of the douche invasion.

Nice Jacket Ya Douche!

A girl in my office showed up with a Canada Goose jacket the other day. As soon as I saw it, I thought that jacket looks like something a forest ranger would wear. Knowing that she loves her name brands, I couldn't wait to find out how much cash she dropped on her super trendy jacket. I was expecting her to say like $200, but I almost shit my pants laughing when she said $350. She then continued to explain that she squeezed into a kids size and saved like $200. What have we become people? A kids jacket that looks like something a tow truck driver from Barrie Ontario would wear costs like $350, and the adult version is almost $600. What the hell?? That was my first little taste of Canada Goose jackets, but unfortunately I had I feeling it wouldn't be my last.

The Following weekend I was at a local cool guy bar and what do you think I saw? Two gombas with rock hard hair wearing matching Canada Goose vests and sunglasses in a hot, sweaty bar. Ha ha ha. I'm not really sure how long these jackets have been the coolest jackets on earth, but they have certainly become the official winter outfit of douches everywhere. I like to know as much as possible about the things I make fun of, so I did some research to see just how out of control the price of these wack jackets really is. Here's what I found.

$610

All that money, and for what?

To look like ski patrol?

$545

This womens jacket will make your girl look

like she shops at Walmart in a small northern town.

$225

The stupidity doesn't stop with the jackets.

This hat is sure to make you a douche instantly.

$850

I found this jacket on a Vancouver website.

It was sold out. Too bad, i really wanted to pay almost a grand

to look like I drive a snowplow for a living.

I just find it amusing that people will pay so much money for a weak name brand just because everyone else is doing it. A Truly cool person can walk into a department store and find a warm jacket for less than $100, but a douche needs the $600 jacket with the cool little Canada Goose Logo on it. Keep it up people. Without you, I would have nothing to write about.

PT LOSER

There are so many cars on the road these days that are a total waste of resources, but one of the worst cars ever made has got to the PT cruiser. This car was designed by douches for douches. Could someone who owns one of these please explain to me what the hell would possess you to spend your money on such a piece of crap. Ive actually seen a couple of these almost look decent after thousands of dollars in modifications, but why modify a shit car in the first place? Why not start with a car that doesn't suck ass. Which brings me right back to the fact that the PT Cruiser is of the worst cars ever. I am officially naming the PT Cruiser the official car of douche bagery.

What a piece of crap!